Michele Bachmann

   I suspect that the discerning among you, have already noticed the similarity in appearance, mannerism and speech between Jethro Bodine and Rick Perry. Jethro’s stupidity made him loveable; Rick’s makes him electable. 

   In an interview following the recent “debate,” Rick Perry stepped into another cow patty when he placed the Revolutionary War in the 16^th century, a mere two hundred years before the actual fight. Perry only pulled a “C” in American History from his alma mater, Texas A&M, and obviously hasn’t looked into the subject much since then. Like Jethro Bondine he’s purty and he’s pop’lar. But he’s dumb as a box of rocks. Neither would have any trouble believing that the original Tea Party happened when all those Lipton tea bags were dumped into Boston Harbor to protest Indian immigrants taking our American jobs.

   Michele Bachmann showed only a brushing acquaintance with American history, when in a recent speech she started Paul Revere’s ride in New Hampshire rather than Massachusetts. She was only 60-some miles off course. As they say, “that’s good enough for government work.” I doubt that either Perry or Bachmann could pass the test required for American citizenship today.

    Do you have an eating disorder?  Trouble managing your anger?  Have a drug problem or a “gay disorder?”  Then you are may find your “cure” at Bachmann Associates Christian counseling center and also help further the small family-owned business about which Michelle Bachman so often speaks.  

    If you want “reparative therapy” designed to cure gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people of their “affliction,” you may have to come to the backdoor, because according to Marcus—that’s Michelle’s hubby--Bachmann and Associates don’t really attempt to pray the gay away (though he once called homosexuals “barbarians” in need of deliverance.) 

    Such firm and frequent pronouncements were cause enough for Truth Wins Out (TWO), an organization that combats the ex-gay movement, to commence an undercover investigation.  Recently a “spy” with a hidden camera attended five counseling sessions at the Bachmann’s clinic during which he was assured that prayer and therapy would ultimately release him from his condition.  Since the patient was given no warning that such therapy had not proven effective, was frowned upon by the American Psychological Association, and could cause depression or suicidal feelings, TWO is claiming that the counselor engaged in unethically practices. 

Fun, it two parts:

h/t Gotcha Media

More coverage of yesterday's protest of Lunatic Rep. Michele Bachmann's support for Congressman Roy Blunt yesterday:

Photos from this morning's Tea Party protest of lunatic Rep. Michele Bachmann's support for Rep. Roy Blunt...

Here's a low-quality YouTube version...still searching for the high-res clip straight from MSNBC.

You have been warned.

If you didn't get enough extreme right-wing fun last weekend at the Values Voter Summit in DC, it's not too late to attend to sign up for this weekend's "How To Take Back America Conference" in St. Louis. Hosted by Phyllis Schlafly's Eagle Forum and a bunch of like-mind (very) conservative activists, this weekend's event may actually be crazier than the Values Voter fiesta.

Here are just a few of the workshops being offered:

• How to recognize living under Nazis & Communists
• How to counter the homosexual extremist movement
• How to deal with supremacist judges
• How to stop socialism in health care
• How to deal with global warming, cap and trade
• How to understand Islam

And looking at the histories of the featured speakers, the phrase "middle-of-the road" doesn't exactly come to mind.