Jethro and Rick: Separated at Birth?
I suspect that the discerning among you, have already noticed the similarity in appearance, mannerism and speech between Jethro Bodine and Rick Perry. Jethro’s stupidity made him loveable; Rick’s makes him electable.
In an interview following the recent “debate,” Rick Perry stepped into another cow patty when he placed the Revolutionary War in the 16th century, a mere two hundred years before the actual fight. Perry only pulled a “C” in American History from his alma mater, Texas A&M, and obviously hasn’t looked into the subject much since then. Like Jethro Bondine he’s purty and he’s pop’lar. But he’s dumb as a box of rocks. Neither would have any trouble believing that the original Tea Party happened when all those Lipton tea bags were dumped into Boston Harbor to protest Indian immigrants taking our American jobs.
Michele Bachmann showed only a brushing acquaintance with American history, when in a recent speech she started Paul Revere’s ride in New Hampshire rather than Massachusetts. She was only 60-some miles off course. As they say, “that’s good enough for government work.” I doubt that either Perry or Bachmann could pass the test required for American citizenship today.
When Perry crushes a beer can against his head and says that he learned all he needs to know from the Book that Jesus wrote 6,000 years ago and that his pappy fought them Yankees in the 1500s with the spear hanging over the mantle at N-----Head Lodge, he gives south Texans a worse name than they already have—and that’s hard to do. Obviously, his momma left him out in the sun too long and it wrinkled his skin as well as frizzled his brain.
Don’t think, dear hearts, that Mitt Romney’s all that much better. Remember he’s the guy who told us “corporations are people.” He has promised to repeal O’Romney Care, the exotic blend of his health care plan and Obama’s. Flip-Flop Mitt is such a political tease with more positions than a $2 whore.
I find hope for Rick Perry in this exchange from the Beverly “Hillbillies.”
Milburne Drysdale: I'm president of a bank.
Jethro: Wow, can I be president of a bank too?
Jed Clampett: Jethro that was a mighty disrespectful thing to say to Mr. Drysdale. Ask if you can be vice president.
