A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell

GOP strategist Frank Luntz says political words matter and suggests that his party get some new ones.  For instance, the term “corporate CEOs” needs to be more affectionate; use “job creators” instead. And, since “capitalism” has gotten a bad rap lately from the Occupiers, he’d  rather we use the expression “free enterprise.”  Talk of taxing the top 1% of Americans?  Bad terminology.  Better to call it, “taking from hard-working American taxpayers.”

While Luntz is coming up with new phraseology and word meanings, we shouldn’t let him have all the fun.  Below are more re-definitions for the Luntz Lexicon, but not in alphabetical order--since that was too much trouble.

Wealth Creators:  Low-taxpaying, job exporting, regulation averse, greedy bastards masquerading as Dudley Do-Right.

Life: A period of time commencing with conception and ending abruptly with birth during which government has total control. 

Vest Sweater:  The new breastplate of righteousness popularized by Rick Santorum that gives the candidate a feeling of invincibility while denouncing gays, libruls, Muslims and any progressive legislation since Herbert Hoover.

Voters:  The Great Unwashed with whom GOP candidates have to associate during the campaign season, but can ignore thereafter.

Incumbents: The only people with a 98% chance of not losing their job.

K Street Lobby: A congenial retirement center for Congressmen, their families and staffers.

Socialism:  What happens when too many of the 99%-ers vote in an election.

Voter Suppression:  Cure for Socialism.

Entitlement:  What you deserve and others don’t.

Elitist:  Any candidate who can express a cognitive thought, locate Libya on a map, or thinks Fox hunting is something done in the woods rather than with a television remote.

Conservatives:  Those wishing to return to the flat earth era when women and minorities knew their place; the 1% were looked upon with awe; and feudalism guaranteed workers paid their fair share.

Right-wing Conservatism:  An irreversible mental condition causing extremely regressive behavior and urges to run for public office.

Mainstream: Anyone who stays home from a Republican caucus.

Libruls:  Un-American, Christmas hating, flag-burning, marriage mutilating, tree-hugging, immigrant coddling, pacifists who get their news from Rachel and Adrianna.

The Poor:  Those without a Super PAC. 

Corporations: A synonym for real people.

NRA:  The owner of gun owners.

Contraception:  What Rick Santorum doesn’t believe in and a position unlikely to get him elected President--even of his Knights of Columbus chapter.

You are welcome to add more word and definitions to the list.