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Todd Akin in a Nutshell

Here, my fellow “Show-Me-ers,” is your handy guide to understanding the man who wants to represent you in the U.S. Senate—Todd Akin .

  1. Akin views criticism as a badge of honor.  Reproach rolls off Todd like water on a duck’s back.  Why?  He knows that being harshly condemned only proves he is right and righteous.  His reasoning goes something like this: the godly suffer.  I am suffering; therefore, I must be godly.
  2. Akin’s brain is a sponge of misinformation.  For years the Congressman has absorbed a litany of conservative hogwash, enough to do permanent damage to his cognitive reasoning.  Someone planted the “legitimate rape” myth in his psyche years ago. It seemed so true and fit so nicely with the other bits of mis-information lodged between his ears, that he never bothered to question its accuracy.
  3. Akin fears science might eradicate religion. Interestingly, it was Bishop James Ussher, using the best scientific information available to him in the 17th century, who set the date of Creation as the night before October 23, 4004, BCE. Young Earthers, such as Akin, may still cling to this long dispelled notion, though I suspect the inquisitive Bishop would eagerly embrace modern science today for revealing the works of an awesome Creator. 
  4. Todd was “to the manor born.”  He grew up, the scion of a wealthy New York family, who were owners of the Laclede Steel Company.  Of course, young Toddy attended the best schools.  Even so, he failed to match his father, who was a third-generation graduate of Harvard.  Todd went to theology school, but saw public service more to his calling than the pulpit.
  5. Akin has never seen a piece of middle-class legislation he favored.   He opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act; Obama Care; minimum wage increases, Medicare and Social Security, as we know it; children’s health insurance; a woman’s right to choose; school lunch programs; and student loans—which he called “a stage three cancer.”
  6. Akin has contempt for those who do not share his religious or political beliefs.  He said, “… at the heart of liberalism, really, is a hatred for God and a belief that government should replace God."   Recently, he incurred the wrath of his party and the nation’s women with his witless comment on rape, “… if it’s a legitimate rape,” he said, “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” During another foot-in-mouth exercise, he declared that oft times abortions are performed just for the heck of it, when women are not even pregnant!
Despite the Congressman’s eccentricities and impaired judgment, he has a host of followers eager to gulp the mind-numbing Kool-Aid of ultra-conservatism with him.  He once bragged about the devotion of his ideological voters, saying, “My base shows up in earthquakes.”
That, beloveds, is Todd Akin in a nutshell. On November 6th, let’s not put Missouri in the same nutshell with him. 



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