Them Penny-Pinchin’ Tomato Pickers
by Rufus T. Firefly

        

             I am ­disgusted.   I had to wait in line to get three-dollar gasoline for my SUV.  The department stores didn’t have the I-pod in the color that my kid wants.  And, my holiday bonus was less than it ought to be because my boss is a cheap bastard.

But, I wasn’t going to let all that get me down.  Since this is the season for “peace on Earth, good will to men,” I tried to relax and find some peace of mind on the Internet. 

It was not to be.  The first thing I came on to was a tirade by a bunch of migrant workers whining about their wages.

It seems that the tomato pickers in South Florida earn about 45 cents for every 32-pound bucket they fill. They get to work 10-12 hours a day, so they are pulling in a chunk of change and probably replacing some American citizens who could use the jobs.

Are these guys happy that they’ve got steady work? 

Apparently not.

 They could learn a thing or two from those orange grove workers in the television commercial.  All of them are smiling and happy as they reach from the orchard straight into the refrigerator case of your grocery store to deliver fresh orange juice daily.

 They are content.

But, not these tomato pickers.

 They’re wanting another penny more per pound!   That’s an increase of 70% per bucket! 

Who do you know that gets that kind of increase in pay here at Christmas time, unless it’s some hard working patriot at Blackwater or Halliburton. 

The fast-food wimps, Taco Bell and McDonalds, caved into the selfish demands of these alien workers, whose tomatoes don their burgers and salads. 

But, Burgher King, in an act of courageous defiance, stood firm.  They know that these illegal immigrants, (and that’s what 80% of them are), want to run up the cost of my burghers and tacos.

 God bless the good people at Burgher King for looking out for American families like mine.

Speaking in the spirit of the renowned capitalist Mortimer Duke, a company spokesman said, “Florida growers have a right to run their businesses how they see fit,” and added that if workers wanted more pay they should apply for employment in their restaurants.

Since Burgher King won’t budge, the others companies are backing down on their earlier agreement to pay the extra penny.

Good for them.

We should not be replacing the Welfare Queens of yesteryear with the Tomato Queens of today.  If migrants don’t want to do the job, they should skedaddle back across the border where they belong and not try to destroy the burgher makers of America with their outrageous demands. 

Let’s all show our support for what these good corporate citizens are doing to fight inflation, strengthen our economy, and create jobs by asking for extra tomato the next time we place an order at our local drive-through window.

I feel better already knowing that I have spoken out for truth, justice and the American Way.

A Blessed Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all.

 

Biography:  Rufus T. Firefly is just an ordinary guy trying to make sense out of life from what he hears on Fox News.