Dobson and the Rain Makers

Dobson and the Rainmakers

by Jean Carnahan

            James Dobson is calling on his flock of family focusers to pray fervently for rain.  Not rain for the drought stricken regions of the world, but for Denver, Colorado, on the night of Thursday, August 28^th.   

Their request of God, (R-Heaven), might go something like this: “Oh, Lord, of the Dobsonites Only, we beseech you to bring torrential rain on the outdoor stadium of 75,000 Democrats during that historic moment when Barack Hussein Obama accepts the Democratic presidential nomination.  Place a symbolic black cloud over the stadium, short out their sound system with mighty bolts of lightning, and muffle the roar of the crowd with deafening thunderclaps.  At the very least, fill their luggage with serpents, smite their first born with acne, fill their basements with toads, and cover them with hives on Election Day.  Amen.”

            Dobson might then tantalized his rain dancers with this advertising offer:  “For a tax-deductible gift of $500, you can order your very own Obama Voo-Doo Doll made in the sweatshops of Darfur and sold only through our official franchiser, Shawn Hannity.  We will include free—for an added $100—your very own set of “prayer pins and needles” with instructions on how to insert them to do the most harm.  Think of the pleasure you’ll derive.  You can now inflict pain on Barack Hussein Obama from the comfort of your own living room along with millions of others who share your beliefs.  Just imagine how much torment we can cause Democrats and their ungodly ilk if we all poke in unison.  (Some cautions apply.  If your pleasure lasts more than four hours, consult your therapist for this may indicate a strange and harmful spiritual disorder.)

            "If you call today, we will include a free “Home Water Boarding Kit” suitable for correcting wayward children, misguided neighbors, and impudent co-workers.  Hurry now! There are no guarantees this offer will be available after November 4."