Republicans Say the Craziest Things
Some years ago Art Linkletter, now 96, wrote a book entitled, "Kids Say the Darndest Things." We all laughed at the cute comments of those adorable little urchins. I’m thinking we need a sequel to the book entitled, “Republicans Say the Craziest Things with the Straightest Faces.” It would be a volume of great heft and humor. The current stimulus debate has provided several choice entries, amazing in their similarity.
Mel Martinez (R-FL), for instance, thinks it is “troubling to have government telling shareholders how much they can pay the executives.” Actually, companies can pay their executives with stock exceeding the proposed $500,000 cap, but the executive cannot cash in the stock until federal bailout funds have been repaid. That makes sense to most people, but not to the GOPers who have made trickledown economics the cornerstone of governance.
Sen. Bob Bennett (R-UT) chimed in saying that when we cap executive salaries, “You run the risk of having a brain drain at the bank of their top talent.” Well, Bob, if that’s their top talent we’ve been seeing recently, it might be good to send in the second team.
More book-fodder craziness comes from Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) who acknowledged that “very bad things” are happening like the "government telling a company what it can pay its employees. That’s not a good thing in America.” Well, Senator, what’s even worse for America is unemployment standing at 7.6% and people losing their homes and life savings.
In lockstep with his foot soldiers, GOP Senate leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) wailed, "I really don't want the government to take over these businesses and start telling them everything about what they can do.“ Let me get this straight, Mitch. It’s okay for government to tell people what to do in their bedrooms and hospital rooms, but not in the boardrooms? Consistency is such a hobgoblin.
Tom Coburn (R-OK), reading from the same cue card, asked, “What business do we have telling [bankers] how to run the banks?” Sorry, Tom, but somebody’s got to be the parent here or the playground is going to be taken over by the biggest bullies.
Lord, have mercy! Aren’t we doubly blessed. It just occurred to me that Oklahoma sent two of their economic wizards to the U.S. Senate. In addition to Coburn, there’s Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK), hyperventilating at the thought of putting some limits on corporate malfeasance. “Is this still America?” he gasped. “Do we really tell people how to run [a business], and who to pay and how much to pay?”
No, Jim, we don’t do that. Nor do we gt up in the morning and take the car keys from our teenager just for kicks. Only when the kid acts irresponsibly do we impose restrictions and pray that, with guidance, a sense of responsibility will take hold.
Not wanting to miss this tipsy Ship of Knaves, Kit Bond, (R-MO, for only a while longer), pointed out astutely that Congress doesn’t know how to run a financial institution. “Government does not do a good job running private institutions,” he declared. Translation: no regulations for the boys and girls at the top, cause they know best, else how did they make it to the top?
It’s circular reasoning, but the R’s are doing their best to stay relevant in a party flailing under the direction of Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Joe Wurzelbacher (alias “The Plumber.”) Their blind allegiance to Hooverism is no longer comical, it is pathetic and perilous. Our boat is leaking and we’re all on board and the chewing gum keeps falling out of the hole. Something needs to be done fast or we’re all going to be up to our armpits in economic woes.
President Obama expressed the feeling of most Americans suffering from the excesses of greedy entrepreneurs when he told the NBC Nightly News, "If the taxpayers are helping you, then you've got certain responsibilities to not be living high on the hog.”
It’s as simple as that.
