Barks 'n Bites from the Yellow Dog
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Have a question for the Yellow Dog to chew on? Send it to yellowdog@firedupmissouri.com. It can be a political, historical, or an opinion question. "Yellow Dog" will feature the most interesting questions along with a most interesting answer.
Dear Ms. Dog,
What is your favorite film?
Gilberto
Hi Bert,
My favorite is the 1937 comedy "Topper" starring Cary Grant. I fell in love with the film while wintering with an elderly couple some years ago.
It featured two magnificent Great Danes named "Get Off the Rug" and "You Too." This is true. Great comedy flick.
Your furry friend, Yellow Dog
Dear Ms. Dog,
What is your favorite film?
Gilberto
Hi Bert,
My favorite is the 1937 comedy "Topper" starring Cary Grant. I fell in love with the film while wintering with an elderly couple some years ago.
It featured two magnificent Great Danes named "Get Off the Rug" and "You Too." This is true. Great comedy flick.
Your furry friend, Yellow Dog
Howdy Yellow,
I need a beach companion. Are you available?
Bertram L. Thompson
Dear BLT,
I would be delighted to accompany you along with my new best friend, Chopper, a handsome Blue Tick coon dog. Chopper is the perfect beach hound, having been college trained to fetch and open beer bottles and retrieve overthrown Frisbees.
Your doggone friend, Yellow Dog
Dear Ms. Dog,
As a blogger, do you ever take a long walk in the country to collect your thoughts?
Fred Dante
Dear Freddie,
I get some of my most robust ideas while ambling along abandoned rail beds and bike paths. I often chase a few rabbits or tree a couple of squirrels just as I do when blogging.
The outdoors is a great place to relax and learn about Mother Nature and human nature, as well.
Where else can I drool on total strangers who speak pleasantly to me, compliment my coat or disposition, and often share the last bite of their sandwich with me.
Your doggone friend, Yellow Dog
Hi Yellow,
What did you think of Obama's baseball pitch? Are you a fan of the game?
Cindy Badeer
Dear Cinbad,
No, my game is Frisbee. I can leap nimbly into the air and snag a plastic disk, that's traveling at breath taking speed.
To witness my prowess, grace, and agility plan to attend the Branson Annual Frisbee Toss and Tennis Ball Chew. It's a gala tail-wagging event that attracts dogs from everywhere. Bill O'Reilly will be there to judge our howling, barking, and snarling contest this year.
I am sending you two free tickets to our pre-show Liverwurst Barbecue, which includes an all-you-can-eat spread on the lawn of the Kennel Club.
Your furry friend, Yellow Dog
Hi Yellow,
I hate to admit it, but sometimes I watch Fox New. Where do you get your news?
Monty Pursell
Dear Percy,
Do not aggrevate and embarass yourself by watching Faux News. Better to mix up a batch of Mojitos, stretch out on your futon, and enjoy some old Lawrence Welk records.
If boredom strikes, bathe the cat.
But if you are a serious seeker of knowledge, as I am, reach out into the blogosphere and join keyboards with webbies worldwide in their unending search for truth, justice, and the American way.
Yours in the mighty work of freedom, Yellow Dog
Dear Ms. Dog,
I'm just a pup, but it seem to me that some big dogs get more than their share of the meaty bones.
Bowser
Dear Bowz,
As you mature, my sweet puppy, you will learn that there are two kins of people in the world: those who pat you on the head and those who kick you in the butt.
The head-patters will even throw you an occasional bone, but the butt-kickers will hide your bone or give it to the Great Dane next door.
This is a cosmic injustice most often engaged in by right-wing Republicans.
Your bone-a-fide friend, Yellow Dog
Dear Yellow,
You were spotted "hiking the Appalachian Trail," as they say. Who was the lucky dog?
Tim Quisenberry
Dear Quiz,
Yes, it is true. I met Chopper lounging against the fire plug outside a local Kibbles bar. Taking a stroll wth him is impossible, since he insists on crotch sniffing every stranger and watering every shrub.
Even so, I admire his keen eye. After a few bowls of Kibbles, he called me "his flaxen-haired beauty."
What rare discernment.
Your affectionate servant, Yellow Dog
I thought I saw you at the license fee office this week? Was it really the one and only Yellow Dog?
Blue in St. Louis
Dear St. Louie Blue,
Yes, I wandered into a license fee office to renew my dog tag. Line standing is not one of my inbred traits. Patience, I have not. I fidget, drool, and scratch when detained.
So, when I got bored of waiting, i began nibbling on the fat lady's ankle in front of me. She let out a bloodcurdling yelp and began whacking me with her umbrella. This got the attention of the dawdling clerks and a security guard, who immediately whisked us away to a back room. We were handled with dispatch and escorted onto the street posthaste. Now, how's that for service?
The umbrella lady, grateful for my assistance, gave me a wink and pat on the head.
Your canine friend, Yellow Dog
P.S. I have found this procedure also works at movie theaters, grocery checkouts, and airports.
Hi Yellow,
I'm planning a motor home trip this summer. Any vacation tips?
Dr. Harry Humperston
Dear Hump,
No more motor home trips for me, ever since I spent a week in one with a yipping Chihuahua. I much prefer riding a Greyhound.
BTW, if you pass through the Ozarks, give me a whistle and we'll go for a splash in the pond.
Your furry friend, Yellow Dog
P.S. Should you, per chance, be a veterinarian, stay in touch. I have this little flaky spot behind my ear. And, no I don't have health insurance.
